Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
