Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
