He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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