Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
