remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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