i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
