whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just google imaged poop.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
