normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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