Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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