I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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