If i come over, it means nothing
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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