can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
