I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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