Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
