Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
