Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize