i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
