arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
