that's an acceptable place to lick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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