OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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