Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize