there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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