He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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