Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
