Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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