drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
