Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
