I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
