I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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