i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
