WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
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