my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
