my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
