Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
