it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
