Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Of course I have a pirate flag
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
