why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You can't special order awesome
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
