Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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