I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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