I wish I could punch you in the face.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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