Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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