sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
