I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
