Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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