we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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