its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
