I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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