How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
