You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
