come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
