just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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