you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
