I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
