At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
