dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
