also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
