one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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