u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
