I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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