it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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