White coat. Heels.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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