dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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