Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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