they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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