My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
