he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize