Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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