Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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