so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
