Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
