Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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