i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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