i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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