I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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