The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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