no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
