He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I need to stop coming to work sober
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
