You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
