So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
