The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
